A big shift happened for me over a decade ago. I’ve been free from my negative cycles with food and my body-image ever since.
I sometimes think of this shift as pure grace. When I look back, I also know I had been building the foundations for years beforehand, through all the many ways I’d been trying to find food and body freedom.
What changed for me so suddenly?
I got willing to get the right support … I started sharing about my thoughts and feelings around food and how much energy and focus they took. I learned I wasn’t alone in this. My shame lessened.
I received the support, respect and time to learn what was right for me when it came to structure vs no structure around my food. Some women find their food and body freedom blossoms through being supported to release the structures they’ve formed around their daily food lives. My journey was one of discovering and embracing a level of structure that was wholesome for me.
This marked the first time since my childhood that I’d made food choices which came from myself – my own wise sweet self. These choices came from a place within that wanted me to be at peace FAR more wanting me to be thin, in control, or with a mouthful of chocolate to soothe my shame, fear, and pain. I found I could be with my emotions without becoming overwhelmed and needing to push them away using food.
Through this time, I discovered that there were parts of me that had very different ways of trying to keep me on an even keel with food and in my life. My life had been ruled by two major players within. Both these dominant parts wanted to govern my food-life completely and reacted to my physical appetites, cravings and emotional lives with complete what they hoped would be total autonomy.
One part would have me eat whatever crossed my mind straight away. An empty mars-bar wrapper blowing in the wind would change my course to include a detour to buy and eat a mars-bar … the smell of baked goods at the store had me adding croissants and pastries to my basket when I’d only dropped by for some batteries …
The other part prevented any such indulgence. It had me go for long stretches without fuelling or nourishing my body in any way, even while I did the heavy manual labour that my job included at the time which had my body was burn up calories fast …
Every year at around this time, I had a food-&-body-related new year’s resolution. It usually came from the latter part: the one that prevented spontaneity with food, favouring total avoidance of food pleasure and enjoyment, which it believed would always quickly lead to the other part’s over-indulgence that it fought to suppress.
Needless to say, the first part was not keen on such resolutions, and it was also strong. After battling through a few weeks of strict dieting – even fasting – the pressure would build to a release, and the constant grazing and snacking would once again resume. My newfound resolution would be swept away and lost under a pile of biscuit-wrappers….
If any of this speaks to you, you are not alone. I know the pain of being taken over by such parts as these, and how confusing and frightening it can feel to swing between them from one year, month, day, or moment to the next.
The ONLY way to create lasting Food and Body Freedom is to ensure that EVERY part of us is on board with any change-making venture we have in mind. The level of peace and joy that blossoms from such inner harmony around food and body is real, and I believe it is our birth right. I have experienced it, and it’s changed me from the inside out. So too have many of the women I’ve been honoured to work with over the past decade. There is hope.
I invite you to connect with me to find out more about upcoming opportunities to receive inspiration, support, and guidance in next steps for you in your own path of food and body freedom.
Download the Free Guide and set up a 30 minute free consultation with me on the homepage here.
With warmth and gratitude,